One common question moms often ask themselves is “where has the time gone?” While math may not be everyone’s favorite subject, here’s a quick snap shot of the numbers:
- Breastfeeding or bottle feeding has an average stat of 4-6 hours per day.
- Early feeding for a young baby at night also every 4-6 hours.
- Changing diapers 2 hours per day.
- Only 4-6 hours of sleep average per night, meaning sleep deprivation is a very real thing with young babies.
- 7.5 hours per day on child-care related tasks per day in general.
And there’s a whopping average stating “mothers spend between 65% and 80% more time than fathers in direct one-to-one interaction with their young children. Early maternal care is more common than paternal care.” Multiple child caregivers and multiple cognitive caregiving practices: Associations with early childhood development in 51 low- and middle-income countries – PMC
Ladies, where has the time gone?
Into caretaking responsibilities, especially during the early years of a child’s development. While these moments will be some of the most love-filled and rewarding times in a mother’s life, they can also be some of the hardest.
For me, motherhood changed how I see everything, including myself. It stripped away the idea that I had to be perfect and replaced it with something more honest. I show up, I adapt and I keep going because our kids don’t need us to have everything figured out. They need to see that life can change and still be ok.
It’s this type of adaptation that helped me provide gentle reminders to myself that I don’t have to be perfect and it’s about showing up instead, just as I am. It’s in this realness that I also see how much time I need to care for myself as I’m caring for everyone else.
So here’s a gentle reminder for mothers, dear mothers, you are still women too. And we women need fun, relaxation, mental stimulation, self-care, alone time, and nights out with other adults.
Managing time between motherhood and womanhood is not always easy. It requires intentionality but even more so, it requires some quality information. But who has time for research?
That’s why I put together a list of 8 things you mothers can do to remember the woman in you and find time for yourself.
8 Things for Mothers Can do to Find Time to Care for Themselves
1. Sound Baths
Bliss and relaxation all rolled into a 1 hour experience that leaves your mind, body and soul more relaxed than a hot tub as you are literally bathed in layered, melodic sounds you’ve probably never heard before. The resonance reaches the core of your cells and stills the mind in an almost magical way.
2. Order a Unique Home-Related Service
There are some pretty unique companies out there conjoining self-care services in a new way and bringing it right to your front door. Like getting an in-home professional haircut while your house is cleaned! The feeling you are left afterwards is incredible. Your Path to a Clean, Organized and Beautiful Home
3. Play Cafe Meetup
Except the meetup is for you, not your kids. But they usually have fun too. Check your local area for a play-cafe where moms can get a coffee and treat and chat while kids are free to play.
4. Schedule Your Services Out 3 Month
If you do one thing for yourself in the next hour, let it be this. By booking your self-care related services out up to 3 months in advance, you have effectively protected your time for you. Like telling your future self, I love you enough to prioritize your needs. It removes the anxiety and scramble over last minute bookings and it reminds the universe you are tapping into peace instead of chaos.
5. Do’s and Don’t
Don’t do that thing you must get done for work when it’s right before bed. Don’t do that cleaning thing right before bed. Don’t doomscroll right before bed. And especially don’t get one more glass of water for your child right before bed. Do take a hot bath, light a candle during your wind-down night routine, read a really good book, and tap into one really beautiful thought about yourself (ruminate on it) as you close your eyes. Some of us have even learned to say “I love you” to ourselves as we drift to sleep.
6. Group Exercise Classes
Exercising alone is great, but it takes building a new habit alone. Exercising in a group is sometimes like an invitation into moving your body. There are other people there also on the journey, and that can be really nice.
7. Stay Engaged with Work Outside of the Home
When work fulfills you outside of the work you do in the home, stay engaged with it. You may have to let go of any guilt that pulls on you for spending physical or mental time away. But being a working mom isn’t about doing everything all at once. It’s about knowing what matters most in that moment and letting the rest wait.
8. Curate Boundaries
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a mother is that boundaries aren’t walls. They are how we protect our energy so we can be present for the people who matter most. Reviewing my boundaries as I evolve in my motherhood has become a sacred practice. This way I’m able to confidently allocate time and energy in all the right places, especially when it comes to my selfcare.
Sources: Exhausted mama—here’s how to make rest a priority
An Age-by-Age Feeding Chart for Newborns and Babies
How Much Sleep Do New Parents Get? Tips to Rest with a Newborn
Melissa Corneal is a mom and writer who grew up in Key West, Florida, where she went to Key West High School and learned the value of family and community early on. Her dad still lives there, and it’s a place she and her daughter, Ava, love to visit and feel connected to.
Melissa once owned a small business in Key West where Ava worked alongside her, learning what it means to show up, help out, and be part of something bigger than yourself. Those experiences shape how Melissa thinks about parenting, responsibility, and growing up.
She earned a bachelor’s degree with a minor in accounting and later a master’s degree in business administration with a focus on healthcare management. While her work background is in healthcare operations and project management, her writing is about family, growing up, and navigating the tween and teen years with honesty and care.
Melissa lives in Florida with her daughter, Ava.
