By: Sonya Jensen ND
3 Mistakes the ‘Perfect Mom’ Can Make
Movies like “I don’t know how she does it” starring Sarah Jessica Parker really do highlight the qualities of today’s mom.
Busy, busy, and busy!
In that busy schedule of caring for the kids, the house, the career, a woman can feel lost, alone, and full of anxiety. Our culture congratulates those that multitask and stay busy and manage to get it all done and all perfect. What’s lost in that scenario is the woman, the woman before she was a mother, that woman that had her own dreams, that woman that could be centered, grounded, happy and still be a great mom. She has sacrificed just that to be that perfect TV mom that can do it all and keep up with the “Joneses”.
What happens when we become mothers? What blocks us from being who we are in every moment, with or without a child? What are these “mistakes” or patterns that hold us back from the one goal we all have, which is to be happy. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR! Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of doing it all wrong!
Mistake #1: Thinking you’re not important.
You are the glue and centre of your family. If you are happy and healthy so is your family. Studies have shown higher amounts of stress hormones like cortisol in a Mother’s blood stream is directly correlated with how connected she feels with her children and how well those children develop. Take a moment and ask yourself, what is YOUR definition of happy? What feeds YOUR soul? Taking time to nurture yourself instills in your children the importance of taking care of themselves.
Mistake #2: Holding on
Our children are our biggest teachers, and they do this by mirroring absolutely everything we do! Our need and want to have things go a certain way, the perfect way, can sometimes create a whole world of internal anxiety and conflict that keeps us from being happy. Learning the practice of letting go and having flexibility will create opportunities for you to relax and enjoy the process.
Mistake #3: Letting Guilt be your Guide
As Moms especially new Moms we spend so much of our day indulging in this emotion of guilt that doesn’t serve anyone, especially not our children. Mommy guilt has a way of taking over our thoughts about not only ourselves but also those around us. Yes you’re a Mother now but nowhere does it say that you are no longer a person that deserves everything you have dreamed and wanted for yourself.
There’s a moment in the movie, “I don’t know how she does it”, where Sarah Jessica Parker after a long day at work and organizing her daughters birthday pauses and takes a deep breath, and in that breath you can see the love she has for her daughter, her husband, and her life.
We have all had these moments that make it all worth it.
Every night as I stare at my son falling asleep and reflect on our day I have a feeling of gratitude and love for this experience as a Mother. With all its challenges and all its victories, being a Mother has helped me reflect on myself in ways I never thought possible. We Mothers are all given an opportunity to shift and shape this world through our love for our children and most importantly through loving ourselves.
How does being a mother shift and shape you?
Dr. Sonya Jensen ND is a Mother, a Naturopathic Physician, and a Kundalini Yoga Teacher. She is also the co founder of Elevate Birth: Holistic Child Birth Education and Naturopathic Care, a support network for couples transitioning into Parenthood. She believes that Healthy Mothers create healthy and happy Children and it is her dream to inspire Mothers to be happy and healthy since they truly are the ones that are creating the future.