By: Kylie Mattu
I have a lot of stories, thoughts and ideas but you would never know it. I have struggled with being so afraid of every idea I think I’ve possibly ever had. The thoughts that one can make up in their own head I’ve learned, is completely obscured and extremely untrue. The words you tell yourself like “ I can’t do it” , “ I don’t have time” are not true.
I have wasted a lot of years not doing things I’ve always wanted to do or trying things I’ve wanted to try. Simply maybe because as a mother you feel secluded sometimes when your only focus is on your kids and not yourself. You start to build a bubble around yourself and you’re scared of everything on the outside of that bubble. Trying to figure out where to start to get out of that bubble is the hardest part. You just need to POP IT and move on.
Who’s scared of a better future? Me that’s who…….
I’ve never applied for jobs I really wanted and was pretty sure I knew I could do. The fear that takes over is mind boggling, “What if I get an interview, what if I get the job” THEN WHAT?
I’ve cancelled interviews from fear of it going well, or not going well at all.
I’ve made every excuse in the books to stop me from doing something I wanted to do like go to the gym, a class, a workshop. “One of the kids is sick, I’m way over tired” (which is mostly true). You get my point, and if you don’t my point is that because I was afraid I was never actually doing things I wanted to do I was only dreaming about them.
It was time to make a change!
So I made a bucket list and have been following through with everything on it. Rain/shine, sick child or not I am following the list slowly but surely. Not only have I been trying new things that I was once scared of but these things have led me to start doing things I never even thought I had in me. Like taking a cake decorating class or being a feature writer for a Mama blog like this.
I have started surrounding myself with people who “seem” like they might not be scared of things. Crazy part is many people are afraid. Some are just better at hiding it than others. I have been engaging with Mothers and Women that I admire or that inspire me. They are following their dreams. Which doesn’t even have to be anything big even. You can start with something small and it will lead you to bigger.
The things I have accomplished in only months from just some small changes and changing my thinking is unbelievable. I would have never thought in a million years that things could turn around so quickly.
I hope this inspires someone else who may have those same fears and knows they CAN make a difference in their life. Even just with baby steps, don’t get me wrong I’m still scared but I’m pushing myself. If you feel stuck where you are, it only takes a step out your door or a jump into something your scared of. I guarantee it will change you.
Having lived in Vancouver for over 17 years Kylie has managed to dip her feet into different categories of education such as, Early Childhood, Make up artistry, Event Management and is still able to participate in all aspects. When Kylie is taking a break from making her dreams come true, you can find her hanging out with her family, spending time with friends and checking things off her bucket list. Ready for any challenge, Kylie is excited for what the future holds! She has the honour of being a mom to three kids, wife to one and the Owner/Director of STAGE LAB Slow Motion Video Booth.
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