By: Kristen Yarker
You donβt have to be dietitian like me to be inundated with nutrition information. Every day we hear about how important it is to get enough of this vitamin and that mineral. We hear about the next super food. And, we hear about the latest food to avoid.
When you become a parent this news comes at an even more rapid pace, because now youβre not just responsible for feeding yourself but youβre responsible for feeding your children too.
But food is so much more than just fuel for our bodies.
Food is an expression of culture.
Each culture identifies themselves with what they do and donβt eat. Have you ever experienced culture shock when travelling? I bet you craved a food from home. Expats do too. For example, a (Canadian) friend of mine searched out and paid an exorbitant price for peanut butter when living overseas for 5 years β and she was living in Paris where there certainly isnβt a shortage of delicious food! Now that sheβs back in Canada she spends her time searching for a decent croissant β go figure!
Food is also an expression of love.
I know that my Grannieβs applesauce was the best that Iβve ever tasted because hers had the extra ingredient of her love. I bet that you have similar memories. Each culture around the world shares food with family and friends. In fact, in most cultures itβs considered rude not to offer food and drink to a visitor to your home.
So itβs no wonder that it hurts so much when your child refuses to eat something that youβve prepared. All of these layers of meaning come into play. You worry that they wonβt get the nutrition that they need. You feel that theyβve rejected your love.Β And if itβs a cultural food, you feel that theyβre rejecting not just you but your culture too.
Ouch!
When your child is a picky eater and he/she is constantly rejecting food these painful experiences can easily compound into guilt and shame.
Iβm a long-time fan of BrenΓ© Brownβs work (check her out at http://brenebrown.com).Β She describes so clearly how powerful shame can be. And how huge of a barrier it can be to creating positive change.
There are many reasons that contribute to a child not wanting to eat a particular food, and/or being a picky eater. Most of which have nothing related to rejection of you, your love, or your culture.
When your little refuses to eat a dish, acknowledge your feelings, recognize why it elicits such a strong reaction in you, and choose to take the high road and not engage in a battle. Β Itβs not easy to do, but the right thing often isnβt the easy choice.
Kristen isΒ a child feeding expertΒ often referred to asΒ The Dietitian who Transforms Picky Eaters into Food-Confident Kids. She shows families evidence-based strategiesΒ toΒ gets kids to try new foods on their own (without negotiations, deception, or being sneaky) to start them along a path to a life-long LOVE of healthy eating.Β When sheβs not gardening, shopping at a farmersβ markets, cooking or entertaining sheβs balancing all her food related interests by taking her surfboard down off the wall (whereβs itβs been collecting dust for almost 10 years) and is getting back in the water. You can also find her on Twitter andΒ Facebook.