By: Katherine Petrunia
When you have kids it can be hard to find the time and energy to focus on your partner. Keeping the love alive is important and making time, even just a little, to focus on each other is too. Here’s some advice and suggestions for how to keep the romance in your relationship.
You’re exhausted. I know. It feels like we have barely finished stashing all the Christmas stuff away and here we are preparing for Valentine’s Day. The most romantic day of the year, sound familiar? So, in addition to your infinite list of chores, keeping your kid(s) alive, being an attentive spouse, and/ or work, let’s toss in the pressure of injecting some scheduled romance into the mix, shall we?
As if you don’t already have enough to do (*wink).
Is romance a novel idea?
Ok, enough with the melodrama. We can all admit by the end of the day, finding your romantic side can be difficult. And let’s face it, when you’ve been married for a little while and toss a kid or a few into the mix, romance becomes a novel idea.
The sexiest thing your spouse can do is give you an extra hour of sleep instead of rousing you for a little one on one time. We need sleep to live; to function.
It’s important without a doubt, but so is taking time to focus on your partner and maintain the relationship.
You’ve got to put each other first
I remember telling my husband before our daughter was born that he would always be my first priority. Naïve or not, I stand by this. While the needs of a child do come before our own as parents, a healthy and happy family starts with the quality of the relationship between the parents. This means putting each other first.
Grab Precious Moments
This may look a little different than before kids came along- grabbing precious moments when they pop up through out the week just to focus on each other- but is as important as ever.
That being said, I wanted to give some simple (and realistic) ideas for inserting some romance into our busy lives- and not just on Valentine’s Day. Date nights can be as simple or extravagant as you like, so I have tried to offer a variety of ideas.
Keeping the Love Alive After Baby
- Write a little love note and leave it somewhere they’ll find it. Yes cute texts are nice too, but why not go the old- fashioned route and tuck a note into their lunch or in their car to brighten their day. A simple little surprise that showS you’re thinking of them can mean a lot.
- Once the kids are in bed and the house is peaceful, snuggle on the couch and find out what’s going on in the other’s life. Put the phones down and turn off the computer and TV. I think women are more inclined to be the talkers, but showing interest and compassion towards your hubby can remind him that he is a priority in your life. Communication is important and doesn’t need to always be about the kids, the mortgage, etc.
- Cook something together. You don’t have to be Julia Child to create something beautiful. Either wait until the kids are in bed or drop them off at Grandma and Grandpa’s so you can have the house to yourselves. Plan ahead so you have everything you need. Delegate who does what and enjoy working as a team to achieve something you will both enjoy. Reminding yourselves of how well you work together and what you can achieve as a team is important for maintaining a strong bond and relationship.
- Go on a date! Get a sitter and get out of the house together! Movies are great, but why not take advantage of the time and do something that will strengthen the relationship? Pick an activity that one or both of you have been wanting to try and actually do it. There are so many daily deal and coupon websites now that you shouldn’t have a hard time finding a budget-friendly idea.
- Go on a weekend trip. Just the two of you. To build on #4, leave the kids and take some time to focus on each other and the relationship. Perhaps go somewhere you can pack a picnic lunch and go for a hike, followed by some indulgent spa treatments. Find a common interest or activity that keeps getting put off and go. Again, there are so many inexpensive options available, you just have to pick one.
Katherine Petrunia is a blogger based in Vancouver, BC. She’s a lover of all things creative & DIY and loves the challenge of making budget friendly look amazing. You can check out her blog for Moms & families, The Pampered Baby, at thepamperedbabyblog.blogspot.ca.