I’ve thought ALOT about this lately. Since becoming a “mom” I am really hard on myself. I have set expectations so much higher for myself than anyone would ever dream of asking of me. I love my job. I love my family. I love my life. Generally, I am a very content person. But I am just plain hard on myself. And it’s usually just in little ways. In little ways I take away my right to be me. So here are 5 “little” things that I give myself permission to do:
1. To go for a haircut and NOT rush home because “I am the worst wife and mommy ever for leaving my children for an hour for something so unimportant, frivolous, and self-centered.” For now on I will stop for a coffee on the way home because I am important. Me-time is not frivolous or self-centered. Because taking care of me makes me a better mom.
2. To pee, at least ONCE a day, at home, with the door closed. Just once. Again, it’s the little things.
3. To buy myself some “good” shampoo! I used to love my shampoo. But then the kids dumped it all the time in the shower, rubbed it in each others eyes and hence it was “money down the drain”. My kids wrecked my hair (hormone-induced disaster) and dammit I deserve some good shampoo. And I will keep it just for me!
4. To have a good cry every once in a while. I don’t’ cry anymore, frankly I don’t have time! My mom was a single mom until I was 14. I rarely saw her cry; she had to hold it all together. But I remember the times I did hear her weep. I didn’t she think she weak. I thought she was powerful. Her emotion was raw. It allowed me to embrace her. It made her real, it made her my mom. Now I promise to not “ugly cry” in front of my children (often), but I won’t worry so much about “holding it all together”.
5. Buy an obscene amount of diaper bags. Wait! I already do that! But soon my kids will both be potty trained (God-willing) and I won’t technically need them anymore. And that makes me a wee bit sad. About them growing up that is, not about the diaper bags.
So the next time you see me, I may be on my way home from a haircut, where I bought my “good” shampoo, grabbing my coffee at Starbucks, and ugly crying as I dig into my NEW diaper bag for a tissue! Again… it’s the little things!
~JoslinePhoto Credit: Rodolfo Novak via Compfight