You’ve had your first child, and people are telling you that it’s imperative to get out on a date-night as soon as possible, without your new bundle of joy. They say it’s imperative to your happiness and your marriage. Is it, really? I was always truly happier being near my newborn baby, all three of them. I would stay close, exclusively breastfeed and take them everywhere with me. It’s okay to let people know that, and also spend alone time with your spouse whenever you can and have energy for. Later on, as my children have gotten older and my husband and I have spent many nights, and years, trying to fit date-night in at home after bedtime routine when we can, we’ve recently started to take date-night seriously and get out of the house more often. Now that we’re trying to do it regularly, it’s become almost addictive. Time alone, as adults, away from the chaos of our household.
So, whether you’re cocooning with your newborn, or able to get a sitter and head out of the house easily, it’s important to fit some couple-time into your week somewhere.
1 | At home. Pick up some champagne, fancy cheese and crackers and cuddle in front of the fireplace one evening. TV off. Talk about your lives, your goals, how far you’ve come since walking down the aisle as individuals and as a couple, now, as parents. Oh, how life has changed.
2 | No cost, out of the house. Drop the babes at the in-laws (or swap with a mom friend if you don’t have family nearby) and head to the mall. Window-shop and daydream about all the things you would do or buy if you won the lottery this weekend. Would your spouse’s choices surprise you?
3 | Lunch date. Lunch is invariably less expensive than dinner at a restaurant, if you can swing it. Maybe breakfast or coffee is an even better option. When my third daughter was an infant, it felt like a date just having her with my husband out for lunch while her big sisters were at school.
4 | Go All out. Book a babysitter so you won’t feel guilty about being home by a certain hour and make dinner reservations somewhere nice. Once dinner is over, head to a local lounge, pub or nightclub and let lose a little! How long has it been since you slow-danced with him?
Whether you’re at home or out of the house, spending alone time with your spouse is important, and enjoyable too. Take time out this week to connect.
If you’re looking for even more ideas, check out the Urban Infant Summer Issue (page 16) for a great backyard date-night article!
I originally wrote this article for the Terwillegar Tribune.