By: Lee-Anne Ekland
Kids are Messy
When you watch a child with his hands covered in moulding clay or up to his elbow is the muck what do you see? Do you see a mess? Do you see a blob of greyish clay that’s been exposed to the air too long and is now threatening to get embedded in your newly cleaned carpet?
When they’re off on a adventure in their head do you hear every word of their cockamamy story or pay attention only half the time?
Are you connected to the moment, engrossed in the activity with wondrous anticipation of what they might make or say next?
I admit sometimes I see the mess. And sometimes I am not listening at all. And that can get a bit messy too because he knows it.
Love is Messy
I want my son to know that I am paying attention but I’m not perfect.
I won’t always get it right but I need him to know that when it matters most to him I will drop everything.
Instead of wiping my child’s sticky fingers off my clean walls, I’ll stop to admire his tiny little prints knowing those hands will soon be strong and sure like his dad’s.
Instead of feeling bad about my mothering I will look toward the moment AFTER I’ve felt my heart ripped from my chest when he’s kicking and screaming, proclaiming his undying hatred of me, and let go a little more.
I want to cherish the moment when he places his hand on my arm sitting quietly next to me. To be able to relish that sensation over and over the next time he’s blasting me for not letting him watch a program on TV.
I want him to see that I can love him and the messy bits too.
Accept the Tough Messy Bits
Savouring that tremendous opening up of the heart when life gets difficult is the way in to a deeper connectedness to yourself and to those you love.
I might not understand how to be a parent most of the time, but what I do know for sure is that my kid teaches me more about love, and pretty much everything else, than I ever thought possible.
Can you accept the tough, messy bits?
Can you let go of what’s difficult and experience the lightness afterwards?
What are you learning about love from your kids?
Lee-Anne Ekland is the Community Director at Modern Mama Vancouver and manages the content here on Modern Mama. When she’s not working here and there, she’s over here at Mom Paradigm.com. Mom Paradigm focuses on sorting through the amazing journey that is motherhood through the eyes of her child and blogs about healthy living, lifestyle, parenting on occasion, wine and skin care.