For part two of my date-nights feature series here on the blog, I wanted to chat about WHY date-nights are all-important. We did an experiment recently and spent four Saturday nights in a row out on a date together with the kids at home with a sitter or at Nana’s house.
As I mentioned before, it was wonderful, blissful even, (if not expensive!) and well worth it.
But why are date-nights so great? Of course, your marriage may very likely be fine without them, and some may consider this to be a tired topic. But I think they’re pretty sweet.
I get that when you’re in the newborn stage, you’re cocooning and staying in. I did the same thing – I felt no need to leave ‘the nest’ and my baby behind. Nope, all three of them went everywhere with us as newborns, even a white-tablecloth establishment for dinner. We’d leave the big girls at home with a sitter and take Ivy along even. But when the baby gets to be a certain age (there is no magic number, you’ll know when you feel comfortable leaving him or her with a babysitter. When I do the ‘how and budget-date-night’ post, I’ll include some at-home options for you moms that are still ‘in the nest’ phase of mom-hood.
For now, it’s Why date-nights?:
1 | there is so much more to your relationship than discussing how many diapers you changed today
2 | firing up the intimacy
3 | your child(ren) sense more about your love connection than you know
4 | some day your kids are going to move out, you need to feed your relationship so that you two can have a life together when that day comes
5 | it feels really great to put on going-out clothes once in a while
I asked the Modern Mama brand ambassadors (moms too!) their thoughts on date-nights and what it does for their marriage.
Jody says “I believe going on dates with my husband is essential to the survival of our marriage. With two small children in the house it’s easy to get wrapped up in their lives and put all the focus on family life. What we try to remember is that this family wouldn’t be here without the two of us falling in love in the first place! It’s hard to remember that unless you make some time to go out and experience something fun and romantic with the one you love.”
Tara focuses on how great it is for the kids (I agree!) “I find it is really good for the kids! It helps having a break from me, spending time with their Uncle Brad or Grandparents! I also like the kids seeing Trevor and I being G-Rated lovey dovey and showing love to each other! And date nights puts us back in that groove! Even a trip to Walmart together without the kids benefits us and we feel that young love again!” and also that you need to ensure you’re adding some spice into the night by giving saucy reminders to one another, wear special lingerie and to just PLAN it now! If you book it in advance, you’re less likely to bail, so set up a schedule for a few months in advance, book the sitter and just do it!
I guarantee, you will not regret going out on a date with your husband at least once every couple of months!