Want to bring more teamwork into your family’s home? Today we’ve got our first guest post on our North Shore blog, and joining us is the lovely Parrish Wilson of Two Hearts+ to share more thoughts she’s had on this subject since she led a similar discussion at our Mama’s Night Out at DavidsTea in April. We’re especially grateful that she’s taken the time to write this post with the impending arrival of her 2nd baby any day now. Without further ado, here’s Parrish!
____________________________________________
Hey there modern mamas of the North Shore! I hope that you are all enjoying this beautiful change in the weather we’re having. Spring has sprung (with a little bit of summer sprinkled on top)!
I had a wonderful time with all of you a few weeks ago at Mama’s Night Out at David’s Tea. It was a real pleasure to share with you my thoughts on teamwork in the home and based on attendance and the questions and comments during the event I can tell that teamwork is a hot topic for a lot of us mamas. I want to share some further thoughts I have with you on the topic…
When I was expecting my first baby, I remember talking with a well-respected male colleague. He told me that he and his wife worked really well together managing their family. He said they kept it simple: She was the boss and he was the assistant. Hmmm… interesting, I thought. I went home that evening and told my partner about this idea of responsibility sharing and he wasn’t impressed. “I do not want to be your assistant!” Yep, he was clear about that. So instead, we built a team because whether you’re in the workplace or the home, a well-functioning team is a lot more productive than any boss and assistant duo.
Seriously, I doubt that you and your partner entered into this family thing thinking that you would take on respective boss and assistant roles. Besides, the boss/assistant relationship is not designed to foster the love, respect, intimacy and romance we want in our relationship with our spouse (workplace scandal aside). But, a lot of parents do fall into these roles when kids enter the picture and this slowly degrades their relationship. Dad gets sick of being told what to do and treated like a subordinate. Mom gets tired of having to take on the bulk of the responsibilities and directing all the goings-on in the home. Imagine that you and your partner worked as a team instead, just like a workplace team where everyone takes responsibility for the project or outcome (a happy and healthy family in this case). Team members communicate openly, share their ideas respectfully and cooperate with each other. Wouldn’t that be a fabulous way to parent together?
Shifting the roles in the home to develop a team atmosphere takes work from both of you. It’s not something that you can you just “turn on” after you finish reading this post (I totally wish it was that easy). It takes time and open communication. It takes asking for change and doing your own part to change your boss habits. The two of you can be an amazing parenting team together. Commit to it, give it time and communicate as calmly and honestly as possible. Drop the boss and assistant roles. Unless we’re on TV, very few of us find our assistants sexy.
If you really want to make some big changes in your relationship and the way you parent together, the Two Hearts+ Home Study Programs for parents and expecting parents have just launched and are available for purchase on the website. By committing just 1-2 hours a week, for 8 weeks, you can shift the way you relate to each other and your roles as parents. Happy parents raise happy kids!
Cheers!
– Parrish
Very true! I also think it is important to be clear regarding who has what responsibilities. Just as it clear roles make work tearms flourish, the same goes in the home (doesn’t always work that way, but the more clear the better).